What makes an effective family lawyer?

The findings of research on family lawyers are disturbing…. though perhaps not surprising.

Family lawyers are more adversarial and less ethical than other kinds of lawyers, according to the U.S.2006 study of Andrea Kupfer Schneider and Nancy Mills.

Schneider and Mills were following up on a seminal 1976 study that also found family lawyers to be more adversarial than their peers. What is distressing is that the percentage of “nasty” lawyers has grown, not shrunk since then, and that family lawyers are still the nastiest.

The article does however have some good news. It provides readers with the characteristics of effective lawyer negotiators– and this is useful information for anyone wondering which lawyer to hire for their divorce.

The most effective lawyers were found found to be “true problem solvers”. They scored highly in assertiveness, empathy and flexibility. Other characteristics included ethical behaviour, trustworthy, pleasant personality, good communicators, astute about the law, realistic, sincere, tactful, adaptable and flexible.

The least effective lawyers were seen as arrogant, manipulative, rude, inflexible, less prepared, and unpleasant.

The article sets out several explanations for why family lawyers are more aggressive, unethical and adversarial, including that this is what their clients (think they) want, and that all the “easy” cases settle in mediation or without any third party assistance at all.

For lawyers and clients alike, the article is essential reading. It will help clients decide what kind of lawyer they really want, and will remind lawyers that if they truly want to help their clients, they may wish to reconsider their negotiation style.

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Ethical dilemmas and family law

Family law is a challenging field. Aside from the ever-changing statutes and unpredictable judicial interpretation of these laws, along with the high emotional content of the work, there are difficult ethical dilemmas. Our lawyers’ codes of conduct are of only limited assistance for those seeking to resolve those dilemmas.

In an excellent paper published in the University of Western Ontario Journal of Legal Studies, Jennifer Hiatt identifies some of the conflicting instructions given to lawyers, and how they are irreconcilable in some cases.

For example, under the Law Society of Upper Canada’s Rules of Professional Conduct, lawyers have a duty to be fearless advocates for their clients (Rule 4.01(1); and they also have a duty to
not “knowingly attempt to deceive a tribunal or influence the course of justice by offering false evidence, misstating facts or law, presenting or relying upon a false or deceptive affidavit, suppressing what ought to be disclosed, or otherwise assisting in any fraud, crime or illegal conduct.” (Rule 4.01(2)(e)).

How does one reconcile those rules where a lawyer knows that the client may take “self-help” action to advance their case?

Hiatt also refers to another pair of potentially conflicting rules: Rule 2.02(5) states that “When advising a client, a lawyer shall not knowingly assist in or encourage any dishonesty, fraud, crime, or illegal conduct, or instruct the client on how to violate the law and avoid punishment.”

But then the commentary to Rule 4.01(1) reads as follows: “In adversary proceedings that will likely affect the health, welfare, or security of a child, a lawyer should advise the client to take into account the best interests of the child. . . “.

These conflicting dictates could make it hard for a lawyer to know what to do if the client intends to defy a court order because of concerns about the welfare of the child?

The ethical dilemmas addressed in Hiatt’s paper are not new; but her suggestion for resolving them is a good one. Hiatt proposes that governing bodies give their lawyers some guidance by creating a hierarchy of rules, so that it can be easier for lawyers to apply them.

Jennifer L. Hiatt, “The Rules of Professional Conduct: A Conflicting Guide for Counsel in Child Custody and Access Proceedings”, online: (2012) 1:1 UWO J Leg Stud 4 .

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Ontario’s free mediation program: worth trying

At the annual “Six Minute Family Lawyer” program sponsored by the Law Society, Andrea Himel (one of the roster mediators for mediate393 inc.) gave a rousing speech about mediation.

She encouraged all lawyers to use the incredible array of mediation services as much as possible— because clients almost always win with mediation.

Andrea noted that there is free mediation in all Ontario courts. For lawyers waiting to have their case heard by a judge, there is virtually no downside to trying mediation. It costs the client nothing and could save the client a great deal of time, money and anxiety.

The mediators in the courts are all accredited and insured. They are experienced and skilled at helping parties in crisis– whether they have a lawyer or not– communicate and explore settlement options.

And, as Andrea noted, the province is also subsidizing “off-site” mediation for anyone in the province, whether they are in court or not.

These funded mediation services are a gift. Lawyers should be encouraging their clients to use them.

Andrea also spoke about how lawyers can help their clients prepare for and negotiate well in mediation. Her paper is published on our website; take a look!

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Cultural differences matter

In a recent column called “The Unsteady Road to Common Ground”, donalee Moulten describes some of the challenges in mediating across cultures.

It is, she writes, critical to avoid cultural generalizations. In fact, mastering competency in a specific culture can be detrimental to the client, because cultural systems require continuous reconsideration. Moulton notes that, rather than having an encyclopedic knowledge of individual cultures, mediators must understand the concept of culture as it relates to a client’s beliefs and behavior about the issues that are being discussed.

Many authors (see Michelle LeBaron’s work for example) have studied and written on the ways that cultural differences can influence the mediation process, and the things good mediators can do to ensure those influences are positive.

No where is this more important than when mediating parenting disputes. Parents transmit values, rules and standards about ways of thinking and acting, and provide an interpretive lens through which children view the world.

For example, I recently mediated a case with bi-racial and bi-cultural clients. The issue was around sleep habits of their young child. The parent with an anglo-saxon background was adamant about the child sleeping separately as a way of promoting a sense of independence. The other parent felt that co-sleeping was normal, and that it was unacceptable to leave the child alone at night.

This is a good example of how “individualism” and “collectivism” can lead to different parenting styles. These concepts are examples of cultural orientations, which can determine what a person considers to be acceptable behaviour. Within individualist cultures, goals tend to focus on individual preferences, rights and pleasures. So, if you apply these principles to sleep habits, a parent would want their child to sleep separately to develop independence and maintain parental privacy. But within a collectivist culture, co-sleeping is viewed as a way to forge a healthy child-parent bond, and self-soothing is considered less important.

Neither is objectively right or wrong. And, of course, it is important for the mediator to be aware of his or her own cultural influences and how they may impact the mediation process.

As Ms. Moulten writes, “We need to be curious and open, and sensitive when first meeting the clients. That openness includes understanding what works best for clients in the current situation”.

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Family law workshop sold out

With the growing demand for private family law dispute resolution services– mediation, arbitration, parenting coordination, collaborative practice– it should not be surprising that our workshops on family law are popular.

As more people seek to avoid adversarial processes to work through their separation or divorce, the need for professionals with family law training grows. As well, the field of parenting coordination– a private mediation-arbitration process for high conflict separations– is booming. And more people are finding work as mediators thanks to Ontario’s decision to fund family mediation services in the courts. These mediators, many of whom are not lawyers, need to understand the law to do their work well.

Another factor is influencing the demand for family law training: more people are representing themselves in their family law cases. Whether it is because they cannot afford a lawyer, or they choose to not work with lawyers, more people are self-representing. These clients also often want to learn as much as they can about the law.

We train 60-75 professionals each year in family law. Our upcoming course is now full with a waiting list. It will be another great course, with speakers Hilary Linton, Elizabeth Hyde, Nicole Tellier, Ken Nathens, Richard Teicher., and Melanie Kraft.

If you are interested in taking this course, contact our administrator Heather Glen. If there are enough interested, we will put the course on again soon.

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Screening in family arbitration: what’s all the fuss?

The subject of “screening” in family arbitration continues to confound and confuse family lawyers and arbitrators, needlessly so.

Since the Ontario Attorney General passed a new regulation– requiring all family arbitrators to certify that the parties had been ‘screened’ for power imbalances and domestic violence before and during the arbitration hearing–lawyers and arbitrators have been debating what that means for them and their clients.

The confusion stems largely from a lack of understanding of what screening is, how it is done, and why.

Here are the screening basics. For a more detailed explanation of why all the fuss is for nought, click here.

1. The fundamental principle driving the screening process is “do no harm”. We have all had or read about divorce cases where it was learned, too late, about the true power dynamics in the relationship. No lawyer, mediator or arbitrator wants to participate in a process that might do harm to a party or a child. We screen to avoid this risk– as best we can.

Screening provides a safe and confidential way for parties to express their procedural concerns. The goal is to allow the mediator or arbitrator to have the information they need about the relationship between the parties to make two decisions:

(a) do I proceed with this case? If so

(b) how should it be structured to allow each party to participate to the best of his or her ability? And, if not,

(c) how do I convey my decision to not proceed or to terminate the process in a way that will keep the parties and children safe and direct them to a more appropriate process?

We do this because, unlike court, mediation and arbitration are voluntary processes.

2. Mediators have been screening both parties before starting mediation for more than 20 years. It is a simple concept. The person who is going to mediate needs to know if it is going to be safe and/or efective to put two formerly intimate people in a room together to negotiate a settlement. And how to structure the mediation to allow the parties to have the best negotiation they can.

3. The best way to make that assessment is for the mediator to meet with each of them confidentially before starting, to find out how they each feel about the process and whether they are ready to begin.

4. Screening for arbitration serves the very same purpose: to assess whether the parties are going to be able to participate safely and effectively in the process.

5. Screeners should not ask a person whether they have abused the other person; in a good screening process, no one need be concerned about self-incrimination. In any event, screeners (and mediators) are trained to not judge people. They do not seek to assess the credibility of what they are told. That is why any concerns about screening interviews leading to bias are also unfounded. The screener, who may well be the mediator-arbitrator, only wants to know whether a person is afraid of the other, or may be unable to participate effectively for some other reason. If a person is afraid, a private process like mediation or arbitration is probably not appropriate. If there are other concerns, the screener is only applying that information to determine appropriate process. If we trust mediator-arbitrators to have private caucuses with parties during the mediation process, we can trust those same trained professionals to treat screening information as it is intended; solely to assess the best process.

6. Research abounds that clients do not tell their lawyers the kinds of things they tell trained “screening” professionals. There may be many reasons for this, but regardless, both empirically and anecdotally, we know it to be true. This is why lawyers should not rely on their own “screening” of their own clients.

7. Additionally, it is difficult if not impossible to accurately assess a relationship without meeting both people. This is why both parties should meet with the same trained professional, in separate meetings, for screening.

8. Mediators are trained to work with tools to help them screen. They are required (if they are accredited) to conduct their own screening before starting any mediation process. That means that in any combined mediation-arbitration process (such as med-arb and parenting coordination) the screening should be done by the mediator-arbitrator, who should be qualified to conduct a screening interview. Parties and lawyers and mediator-arbitrators should all be clear about this from the beginning so that everyone understands what is happening and why.

9. If the process is arbitration only, the regulation prevents the arbitrator from conducting his or her own screening interview, out of concerns for possible bias (because arbitration is a very different process from hybrid mediation-arbitration). Then the screening should be done by a trained third party who is retained by the arbitrator. The screener should provide a brief report to the arbitrator on the results of the screening. The form of report should be agreed upon by the parties/counsel, arbitrator and screener beforehand. It should be limited to advising the arbitrator of any procedural recommendations resulting from the screening process.

10. Screening and reporting on its outcome, including communicating decisions to not proceed, should always be done in a way that protects the confidentiality of the process. If parties convey sensitive information to a screener, they must have confidence that this information will not, in any way, be provided to the other person or their lawyer absent rare exceptions. This goes beyond respecting privacy; it is a matter of safety. This is why even the lawyers for the parties should not be provided with any information about the screening process without the explicit consent of the parties, and why screeners are trained in specific procedures for safely terminating processes.

If these guidelines are kept in mind, screening for mediation and arbitration need not be a source of confusion. It is a valuable tool and, if done properly, should serve to enhance the confidence of all participants that the mediation or arbitration process will be a good one.

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