Christine Kim and fellow speakers at the AGM OAFM

I was one of the presenters at the OAFM Annual General Meeting May 27, along with Phil Epstein, Antoinette Clarke and Trish Thomas. The topic was “culturally competent mediation.”

The subject is challenging because it requires critical self reflection. One must be cautious of coming across as condescending on a topic that may seem at first to be quite common sense.

Before we begin the discussion, we need to transform our view of what cultural knowledge is, how it is acquired and how it can be used to promote cultural competence in mediation.

The ethnic demographic of my practice is broad; from recent to second-generation immigrants; and variously mixed racial and ethnic marriages. No simple formula will help a mediator work in this context.

Instead of looking at culture as discrete categories of  cultural factors, I suggest we think of the cultural narratives that course through people’s lives. There are a great many cultural influences on each of us; which ones are dominant will depend on the circumstances, and will also evolve over time. Each of our identities will change in response to particular contexts and as we experience life.

Culture is more about the process by which people actively give meaning to things and less about a discrete set of ready-made assumptions about a specific group of people. Mediators will do well to recognize that cultural “categories” are constantly fluid, contradictory, and complex.  This  understanding can open doorways to our understanding and analysis of cultural differences.

Cultural competency is not a one-time skill to be achieved; rather it is a process that requires  continuous learning and self-reflection.

Toronto’s diversity is a reflection of our global community.  As mediators, we are responsible for critically evaluating how we approach mediation in creating an environment that is inclusive for all.

My "students" going dog-sledding

I have just returned from a fascinating and exhausting week in Nunavut. I was training a great group of lawyers who are committed to learning how to practice mediation in a way that will be effective in the totally different culture in which they work.

Imagine my surprise– and delight– to see that the Globe and Mail began a series about the promise– and despair– of Nunavut just the day after I returned.

It is a well-written and in-depth look at why those living there are struggling with the nation’s highest rates of youth suicide, hunger, poor health, and depression.

But it also captures rather beautifully the hope that I saw when I was there— and which I hope to see more of when I return in the summer and again in the fall.

Most interesting to me was the story in today’s paper about John Hickes, who runs Nanuq Lodge, where I stayed, with his wife Page. They also have sled-dogs, and he reassured me from the back of the sled I was in, pulled by 10 huskies, across the cracking sea-ice, that we would not get lost in the dense ice-fog that descended all around us. And that we would not likely get eaten by a polar bear.

me with John's dogs

on the sea ice

I can’t wait to return, knowing that I have so much to learn.

H. Linton photos

I recently attended the ‘ADR and the Prism of Diversity’ seminar at the Law Society of Upper Canada.

As a social worker, I had extensive cultural sensitivity training. And as a mediator, I am now being exposed to the term “culturally competent mediator”. 

What does this term mean?

One thing I know about cultural sensitivity training is that you can’t package culture.  For instance, “how to” books often describe characteristics of each ethnic group, and I have met mediators who buy into this idea of culture. 

This is not only ineffective, it is also quite dangerous. For example, as a second generation Korean, born in Canada, raised in a home where many of the values embodied in a collectivist culture were embraced, I was also greatly influenced by the western framework of individualism.  I don’t think a cultural package on Koreans would apply to me.

I recently gave a presentation on “Culture and Mediation” to a group of mediation students.  One of them told the group about how she likes to open a mediation with humour, and that she had this wonderful book with a joke for each ethnic group. I know for a fact that if she was my mediator, I would of taken great offence to this approach, and I suspect I was not alone in my reaction to this overly-simplistic view. 

If we look at what makes a mediator culturally competent, we would see that their toolbox is not necessarily filled with tidbits of characteristics of an ethnic group, but rather tools of self-awareness, curiosity and openness. Being culturally competent isn’t something that is outside of ourselves. It is an introspective process. This is not a single task, but rather a continuous journey.

Culturally competent mediation is not just a topic, but a way of thinking.  I believe our success will be directly related to the amount of “mindfulness” we can muster and the degree of flexibility, openness, and inclusiveness that we can incorporate into every aspect of our practices.

Given the diversity of our society, we need to strive for a more culturally sophisticated practice in order to mediate effectively across cultures. There is much to be discussed on culture and mediation and I have only touched on a fraction of this topic. I look forward to exploring how we as mediators can become increasingly culturally competent.

Christine Kim, Mediator/Parenting Coordinator, Riverdale Mediation

And what a grand place for exploring it is!

I am doubly lucky because today was the 100th anniversary of the overthrow of the Portuguese monarchy and the creation of the Republic. The celebrations told me a lot about this country.

It is always important for mediators to not judge others, as judgement can get in the way of helping the parties get to “yes” in the best way. And travelling is a great way for us to be reminded how culturally diverse we all can be.

Here in Lisbon I am constantly confronted with cultural differences that are hard for me to understand. First, the language and the food, both of which are far more different from things I am used to than I had expected.

And then there is history. It is odd in a way that a country so old is yet so new— their independence really came only 100 years ago. And I think the new-ness of that freedom and also of democracy creates a culture that sees things differently, perhaps more freshly, from ours.

The military presence is quite a noticeable difference, as is the religious presence. I have never lived in a place that was so defined, for thousands of years, by religion…. not just one, but by many.

And then there is the profound aesthetic difference. Not just that this is such a beautiful, hilly city by the water, but the sense of beauty found in the intricate details of the tiled buildings, and the cobbled streets and sidewalks. I wonder how many man ( and they would have been man) hours were spent cutting all that stone and laying all those cobbles.

And so my day has ended. I am looking forward to the next one and then to the conference!

The trip started with my dad patiently waiting in the driveway to take me to the airport at the bright and early hour of 5am. He’s not a man of many words. It is not unheard for us to travel many hours without a word exchanged. After I explained what AFCC is all about and my role as a mediator, he asked with a puzzled look, “So, people actually get paid to do that?”

You see, my dad is one of the first Korean immigrants to arrive in Canada – a true pioneer. But it is not his time of arrival that makes him a pioneer in the Korean community but his involvement in the community. During my childhood, our living room became the hub of community meetings and mediation sessions. Whether they were families in conflict or an upset community member who feels misunderstood, there sat my parents facilitating discussions and finding a way to work things out.

I recall one day, a woman who was in conflict with her husband, sat on our back porch while my parents met with her husband in the living room – this was a true old-fashioned “caucus”. She leaned over to me and said, “Your parents are very wise”. Although I can appreciate that observation now, as a kid, my parents were just being parents and wise was not a description I would have bestowed on them.

My sister and I were exposed to late meetings, often filled with high emotions and lots of tea. Most cases, the meetings would end with tears and hugs and closing words of wisdom.

Looking from the lens of my dad, his question makes a lot of sense. Here is a man who has dedicated his life to building a community. As someone who is respected and wise, people would naturally come to him to help solve their issues. This idea seems so basic and organic when viewed in this way.

I sit in the AFCC plenary session, surrounded by hundreds of people, who have numerous letters behind each name indicating their level of education and indicating their competence and expertise. I realize in many ways, this collaborative approach is like a big powwow of community members help
people live their lives with dignity and to build a sense of community.

As I listen to Hon. Emile R. Kruzik’s closing speech, filled with emotion and gratitude, I realized that being the President of AFCC is not just about leading an organization but it’s about trying to do what my parents have done for decades. I am surrounded by people who are “carriers of wisdom” trying to find the ways to colleagues, mentors and friends and a sense of community and renewed energy into the important work we do.

To my father’s question, I respond, “Yes, dad. We get paid. It’s hard work.” He kept his eyes on the road and responded with a quiet “hmmm”.

“A failure to communicate” is the heading.

“My disappointment is watching from afar is to see both sides missing each other in almost every conversation”, the former COO of the organization is quoted.

The Steelworkers Union blames a “clash of cultures”.

The adversarial model of dispute resolution is profoundly outdated. Here you have two sides with nothing to lose– and everything to gain– by sitting down and trying to find common ground. Of which they have plenty.

But instead there is only “intransigence, finger pointing and verbal warfare” according to the story.

Read the story and decide for yourself. For an excellent, more in-depth and very moving account of this strike, read John Gray’s cover story in the Globe’s April Report on Business: Nickelled and Damned.