Providing hope and a realistic vision is as important as developing a roadmap for parents that they can follow towards achieving their final destination.
originally published August 15 2015
Like any intervention Parenting Coordination ultimately seeks to create change. In this case it is change in the toxic co-parental dynamic. As such, the end goal of the Parenting Coordination process is to move parents to a place where PC is no longer required, and where they function as effective co-parents. Realistically this may be that they are able to function just enough, and ideally they can buffer their children from conflict, be disengaged from each other, and can support the children’s relationship with the other parent.
Often the challenge is to educate parties what successful co-parenting looks like. Many parties entering Parenting Coordination have never experienced successful co-parenting and it is difficult to imagine a future where it could occur. Providing hope and a realistic vision is as important as developing a roadmap for parents that they can follow towards achieving their final destination.
As a PC it is important to acknowledge and capitalize on small often unobserved successes and chart incremental change. It can be easy to operate from a problem focused lens, but working from a solution focused and strength based lens parents may be able to develop a new narrative and conceptualize their conflict differently. They may also be able to see for the first time moments of successful co-parenting. Over time these moments build upon themselves and eventually they may achieve the ability to support their children without the assistance of court or a third party professional.