Years ago, separating couples really had only two choices: reach a deal between themselves, or go to court. Family lawyers generally did not negotiate settlements unless it was ‘on the court-house steps’.
Over the years, family lawyers have become much more settlement focused, with the evolution of “four-way meetings”, to collaborative practice, and with the explosion in the popularity of family mediation.
Mediation is almost always worth trying, whether you have a court case or not. Although some couples will require a court to get to a fair outcome, most are able to settle at least some, if not all, of the issues they disagree about.
Here are the top five benefits of trying mediation before you litigate:
- Mediation is truly empowering. It is focused on what each person in the family needs, and seeks outcomes that meet all of those needs. Mediators meet parties first to ensure that the process will be a good fit; this helps make mediation effective. Mediators understand the law and respect that each party has the right to request that their legal rights be acknowledged in the settlement. But mediators also can encourage parties to address matters that a court might not— allowing them to craft settlements that are truly tailored to their family’s needs and circumstances.
- Mediation offers a way to hear the child’s voice. This is very important where parents disagree on what is best for their children. Many family mediators are trained to interview children and to provide the parents with a report on the child’s views and preferences. This is a respectful and empowering way for children to be heard in their parent’s dispute. Mediators are very child-focused, and will help parents keep their settlement proposals focused on the children’s needs as well.
- Mediation takes place at your pace. It is almost always faster than waiting for a court date.
- Mediators have the time you need. Court appearances are often disappointing for parties who have waited a long time to get in front of the judge. Courts are busy places, with time limits for each matter. Court can feel rushed and incomplete, and is often an unhappy experience even for those who succeed in getting what they want. Mediators offer their time, attention and care, and parties feel that they have been hear, their concerns acknowledged.
- Mediators use your time and money well. They are or should be well prepared. They have already met the parties in an intake meeting in most cases and can design a process that is safe, effective and satisfying. Mediation is efficient and, where settlement is possible, mediators are likely to find a way to help the parties achieve that settlement.