It all began after the mothering. I wondered what sort of mother I was when I was in it. Was I an “intensive mother” or an empowered one?
In Hays’ original work, she spoke of “intensive mothering” as primarily being conducted by mothers, centered on children’s needs with methods informed by experts, which are labour-intensive and costly simply because children are entitled to this maternal investment. Was I one of those? Could I be a bit of both, sometimes one then the other? Was I one type of mother with one of my children and another with the other? Could I have characteristics of each and not yet be either? I also noted from my research on paternal involvement and maternal employment that there were fathers who were intensively involved with their children. Who were these men and was it the same type of intensive parenting as the mothers displayed?
Simultaneously with these thoughts, as a researcher in the area of combining motherhood with employment, I reflected on how the Early Childhood literature was incompatible with the motherhood and Feminist literatures. In other words, what was good for the child didn’t seem to work so well for the mother and the reverse. How to reconcile this dichotomy? I certainly believed in the importance of attachment in a child’s life but how much was too much and what impact would it have on the mothers, as well as their children, through the lifespan?
I decided that I needed to officially speculate on these issues pertaining to intensive mothering and thus this edited collection was born.
The book is divided into three sections: Understanding and Assessing Intensive Mothering; Intensive Mothering Today; and Intensive Mothering: Staying, Leaving or Changing. The first section draws on academic research and theory in the area of intensive mothering to help further understand the phenomenon. The second section explores the practical implications of intensive mothering in various scenarios and the last section reflects upon the future implications of intensive mothering, and the possible adjustments or alternatives to it. This collection of essays has been written by academics from various disciplines, from different parts of the world, at different points in their careers. It will clarify what intensive mothering is all about, as well as clarify why it still persists in modern times.
I believe that this collection will be a helpful addition to the field of parenting and especially so for family mediators, who are working closely with parents, who are trying to do their best for their children under challenging circumstances. This collection will provide an additional resource to the field and further clarify what intensive parenting looks like, as well as suggest potential alternatives to it.
