I just finished a mediation with a lovely couple who, after many years, finally saw “the light at the end of the tunnel.”
They have been my clients for a long time. Over five years in fact. And they separated some years before they met me.
You would think from this that they are terribly difficult people; the kinds we read about in the papers. You would be wrong, however. They just have strongly different ideas about important things, and are careful and thoughtful decision-makers. They both loved their children enough to both respect the other and yet hold firm on the things that really mattered to them.
Over time, they learned to work together reasonably well without a separation agreement, even if not always happily. They raised their kids well and found ways to resolve conflicts that were “good enough”. They did go to court at one stage, but neither lawyers nor judges were able to help them reach a settlement.
And so they came back to see me and, in a carefully organized three hour mediation, reached a settlement that culminated in a group hug in the Law Chambers waiting room…….a first for the receptionist!
I’m not taking credit for this. The passage of time helped. I am sure that the lawyers helped along the way and the case conference judges as well. But the credit mostly goes to the couple and the children themselves, all of whom had the patience and good judgement to figure out for themselves what they really needed and to be able to accommodate each others’ important needs.
A very satisfying day for all.
