When people call into Riverdale Mediation they are seeking to find some sort of resolution to their conflict.
Many people mistakenly think that they can come in and have a mediator solve all of their problems in a few short hours. But what many do not know is that a mediator is a fraction of the many factors involved in gaining clarity and resolution to conflict.
The actual parties involved play key roles in bringing forth their own resolution; a mediator facilitates it.
I recently came across a blog by Ben Zeigler who is a mediator based in Victoria, BC. He has created a simple diagram that I truly think is a great way to explain the process of getting from conflict to resolution in mediation to clients. He calls it the “Road to Resolution”.
What I like about his model is that it picks up on the most important parts of the mediation process. You cannot start mediation without coming in with the right attitude. If you come in close minded, and “in it to win it” you will not move forward. As Mr. Ziegler points out, “The road to resolution all starts with our attitude; a mindset of positivism, abundance, reframing and collaboration.”
Solving a dispute is not an easy task, and Mr. Ziegler clearly shows that in his “U” shaped diagram. When we go into mediation we are firm in our beliefs. We are not going to budge from what we believe we deserve. But as mediation goes on, we realize there are no winners or losers. It takes a lot of effort, takes a toll on our emotion, stamina and determination. Sometimes we will feel defeated. The conversations in mediation are difficult. But through these difficult conversations, though a balance of speaking and listening we can gain connection and understanding with the other side. We move away from the struggle and the bottom of the U and we work towards a resolution.
Take a look at Ben Ziegler’s blog click here https://www.collaborativejourneys.com/2011/04/12/resolution-road/
To take a look at more of Ben Zielger’s blogs follow him on twitter @BenZiegler
Don’t forget to follow Riverdale Mediation @RiverdaleADR
Written by: Marlo Drago