I spend a considerable amount of time each month talking to prospective clients about various dispute resolution processes. I tell them what my processes look like and what my expectations are for the clients. Recently a client asked how I would describe a successful PC client. It was an excellent question as to the more we can explain to clients how to prepare and how to be successful in a DR process, the more likely that process will be successful. So how would I describe a successful parenting coordination client…….A parent who can develop the skills/mindset/attitudes/behaviours outlined below during the PC process.
- You are open to others’ input
- You are self-reflective
- You have the capacity to make changes to your narrative
- You can learn how to deal with your triggers from the other parent
- You are able to understand the difference between your best interests and those of your children
- You will not allow cheerleaders to influence decisions/conversations between you and your co-parent
- You are open to doing homework on your own to shift the parenting dynamics by shifting your own behaviour
- You will ensure that you understand the effects high conflict parenting has on your children
- You will consider attending therapy on your own to deal with unresolved issues
- You are solution-focused rather than problem-focused
- You are willing to solve problems collaboratively
- You are open to sharing information
- You are committed to co-parenting relationship rules
- You strive to support a healthy relationship between your child/ren and your co-parent
You have an awareness of the need for change” (problem awareness) from a personal and intrinsic point of view vs. a “blaming stance”
By Elizabeth Hyde with contributions from Jared Norton, Marianne Cuhaci and Liz Fabiano
