Sometimes a conflict is driven by the personalities of the people involved. They engage in patterns of blame; do not respond well to problem solving ideas; they try to find people who will take their side; they seem oblivious to the other person’s needs; and they tend to attack aggressively when they do not like the way things are going.
These can be hard cases to settle. People with high conflict personalities are unlikely to acknowledge the difficulties they cause; confronting them will only make them feel angry and defensive.
So how do you mediate such a case? The answer is “not easily”. But, it must be remembered, no process is going to be easy with such a difficult personality, and mediation is often the best option available.
It will be important to select the right mediator. Working with high conflict people requires patience and skill. The mediator must be able to listen with respect and empathy to both sides. He or she must be calm, and comfortable dealing with intense emotions without over reacting to them. And he or she must be non-judgmental, and have the ability to recognize and appreciate the unique contributions that each person involved, no matter how difficult, is making to the negotiation process.
With the right mediator, mediation can be a successful way to resolve even the most difficult cases.
